Adventures in Babysitting is an award-winning opus by director Chris Columbus. Oh wait. That's a lie. But Columbus did direct it, and it stars Elisabeth Shue, Keith Coogan (who was everywhere in the 80s teen movie scene), and everyone's eventual favorite straight AIDS-free videoographery Anthony Rapp. But enough with the technical details: to the meat of it!
Chris Parker (Shue) is a seventeen year-old girl who wants what every seventeen year-old girl wants: to sing and dance along to the Crystals' "And Then He Kissed Me" in her bedroom wearing only an overly long t-shirt. And also, to have the perfect date with her perfect mature boyfriend, who has just canceled on her because his kid sister is sick (alarum bells!). So instead of a dreamy date, Chris gets the dreary task of babysitting for the Anderson's. Brad Anderson (Coogan) is 15 and crushing hard on the exotic older woman Chris, and his kid sister is obsessed with Thor. Then the undersexed, overlustful bestfriend shows up, Chris's bestie runs away to a bus station downtown and freaks her shit, Chris drags the kiddies along to rescue her, and long story short, they end up stealing something vital from the mob and wackiness ensues!
Guys, I mean, at one point, they literally have to sing for their lives!
Also, Vincent D'Onofrio is Thor:
This movie is so spank-your-grandma fun that you will want to watch it every year on your birthday. It's a family film (well...except for the gang fight on the subway, maybe. "Don't fuck with the babysitter!") that avoids mushy sentimentality even in its touching scenes (don't worry, it's mostly unrealistic, almost cartoonish wackiness throughout).
I'd say you have the next movie for your Netflix queue, my friends!
Tomorrow: Aliens Quadrilogy!
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