Thursday, September 2, 2010

Can I Take a Nap in Your Dorm Room?

"Revolutionizing the way people get hit by cars."
So I have this four hour break between classes on Wednesday, and this passed one (yesterday), I forgot to bring a book and I didn't have any homework to do! I ate some lunch at the mall and walked around and bought a video game. I went into a Border's and found a new book by Larry Doyle but it cost $24 dollars, and no matter how much I loved his first book, I can't take a chance for $24 dollars.

Oh look, a segue!

When I publish it, my book will only cost $13. Thirteen dollars. That is about the same amount most people spend on a single lunchtime meal. My book is like lunch for your eyeballs and brains! (Low calories, no carbs, mmmm!). Also, it will be available as an eBook, but I don't know how much that will cost.

Anyway, here is the jacket cover blurb:

Regina Scott, a freshman at a small town college, has many problems, all of which begin (and end) with the dead girl lying in the bed ten feet away. To deal, Regina's psyche breaks into two people - the first being zombie-led through the fire-rings of local police trying to squeeze out a confession; the second traveling back through her memories to trace the incidents that have landed her with blood on her hands and cuffs on her wrists.

Meanwhile, forensic pathologist Julia Breigan is called to assist Sheriff Davies in proving Regina's guilt. Breigan would be delighted to help out, except Davies happens to be her stepsister and the catalyst for her hasty departure thirteen years ago.

Having abandoned hope for finding resolution in her own life, all Julia Breigan wants is to help Regina find the truth in hers. All Sheriff Davies wants is an open-shut case. And Regina Scott, well, she just wants to wake up.

This blurb fails to mention that this story also includes lesbians. Not in a sensational way, although my professor in college did mention (more than once) that the sex scene made her wish she was a lesbian. I'm just saying.

Not a Segway
I'd also like to assure potential readers that I have personally edited out all spelling and grammatical errors. Well, okay, I can't promise that, but I did read this bitch like a twenty times, so if something's wrong, it's your fault. Also, the bulk of the manuscript was professionally edited over the course of my final year at Antioch, so again if there is something wrong, it's my professor's fault. Just kidding! Can't you people take a joke?

Anyway, my final proof is on order and will be here (probably) September 22nd. If everything's good, it'll be available in the first or second week of October. Then I will launch my grassroots marketing campaign which involves free copies (hard or electronic) in exchange for reviews on Amazon! More on that later.

Meanwhile, I must find a quiet place on campus to curl up and nap on Wednesdays. Time to hit The Craig List.