Eat Your Heart Out

I made a cover, just for funsies:

Clip art courtesy: www.wpclipart.com

The Dead Shall Rise...

....And Eat Your Brains! And then vomit them up! In the form of words! How many words? Fifty thousand words, bitches!

Needless to say, I finished NaNoWriMo on time and won the sweet, sweet prize of personal gratification (and bragging rights). The story itself has not quite round down yet, but it only needs like 10 to 20 pages to get there. Pages I will work on next week, once school is officially over for winter break.

Speaking of school, I have to write an essay for my character-building class about my own "rules for writers" when it comes to writing fiction. I haven't had to write a final in so long that I was complaining about this to a friend and she was like, "How long does it have to be?" And I was like, "Five pages." And she was like, "Um." Then I was like, "And I only have to use examples from my own work." And she was like, "....." And then she slapped me.

Anyway, this post was just to assure everyone that I did make it to 50k (though it was looking pretty grim in that final 24-hours, staring down the barrel of 10k words), thanks to copious amounts of junk food, my boss giving me the 30th off, my lovely long-distance writer pals, and lesbians. (Who should be thanked for all things, really.)

I leave you with some NOVEL FACTS:

Title: Eat Your Heart Out

Chapter Titles: All's Dead That Ends Dead; Eat You? I Hardly Know You; The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Dead; A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two if You're Dead; Dead if You Do, Dead if You Don't; A Midsummer Night's Dead; And You Will Know Us By Our Trail of Undead; A Zombie For Your Thoughts





Number of In-Scene Deaths: 3 (awww crap, that's gotta be amped up!)

Number of Sex Scenes: 2-ish (that's right, -ish.)

Opening Line: "My first real-life zombie encounter was a pretty low-key affair, considering I didn't even realize at the time what I was dealing with."



Also of note, I was reading Middlesex all November, so at various points during my story, my main character inexplicably becomes omniscient. I LOVE YOU, NANOWRIMO!

So little time!

This passed week has been a toughy for NaNo scribblings. Last week, I experienced a remarkable upsurge of productivity, pounding out 7,000 words in two days. This was only made possible because of Veteran's Day, which my class observed by not having it. So instead of doing homework for two days, I wrote. And then I felt hella burnt out. (About 5k of those 7 were written longhand, so not only did I have to generate new content, I also had to find time to transcribe the older stuff.) But writing so much pushed me back up to be trailing the ideal word count by a comfortable 6k. I've managed to write the minimum (1,667) every day since then, to keep the gap steady. Lots of things have kept me busy this week, and I don't anticipate another surge of productivity until next Wednesday, when class is out for T-Week. Until then, I plan to keep my head at least slightly above water by doing my minimums every day (most of these tend to be longhand also, as I spend a lot of time on BART and during break at work). Sure, my sleep may suffer, and my friends may forget what I look like, but it's all for the greater good. THE GREATER GOOD!

Anyway, here are some more juicy highlights:

From Chapter One - All's Dead That Ends Dead
 
"There in the soft haze of this perfectly surreal moment between myself and someone whose image I have repeatedly masturbated to, materializes my first ever real-life zombie."

"And because I've watched so many movies in this piece of shit, do-nothing town, and because I don't believe in God or divine invention, and because I've read about the fucked up experiments science has sanctioned in its quest for knowledge since the invention of psychoanalysis, I know this man is a fucking zombie."

From Chapter Two - Eat You? I Hardly Know You

"I guess, looking back, that's when the stupidity took over. Or it may have been this: Michelle Rodriguez shouts into my ear, "Rain, stop," grabs at my flailing arms, and I, caught up in the desperation of the moment, lost in the pale emptiness of Biff's half-closed eyes and swimming in his blood, I elbow Michelle Rodriguez in the face." 

"I close my eyes and bite my lip and pee a little but hopefully nobody notices."

" "You're not how I imagined you." It's not the first stupid thing I've said to Michelle Rodriguez, but it certainly is the latest."

"Her left hook connects with the zombie's loose jaw, sending its remaining teeth up into its skull with a sound like Gallagher sledge-hammering an unsuspecting watermelon."

From Chapter Three - The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Dead

"Michelle plunges a hand into the side pocket of her camo pants and pulls out her wallet. She takes out her insurance card and hands it over. "Yeah, she's my cousin."
    "I thought she was your friend?" The other nurse says.
    "We get along," Michelle says.
    "This insurance company only gives coverage to immediate family," the counter nurse says.
    "Yeah, she's my sister."
    "But you just said...."
    "Sometimes I don't like her too much so I pretend she's my cousin to piss her off."
    "But..."
    "Hey look, guys - I'm bleeding!" 
    While they were occupied in their verbal battle, I surreptitiously drove my fingers into my bandage until I almost blacked out from the pain and felt the bandage grow soggy with my blood. I am the queen of quick distractions. Also, I may need to throw up."

From Chapter Four - A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two if You're Dead


"Quick Shot Guns & Ammo shares a rectangular parking lot with two other stores: a Check & Go, and Quick Shot Liquors. Some years ago there was talk of putting in a Quick Shot Mini Golf course across the street, but the town ultimately decided against adding to the confusion."


" "Ever shoot before?" She asks.
    I pump the shotgun, open the barrel and load up nine cartridges from the box Michelle holds out to me, slap the barrel back in place and cock a round into the chamber. "Alaskan hunting trips every other summer since I was ten."*
    "Must have a pretty cool dad," she says.
    I grab the box of bullets from her. "My mom took me." "

* I am aware this is not exactly how a shotgun operates. NaNoWriMo is not for researching or editing.

Updates!

This appeared when I googled "update".

Website News - I updated the "Published Works" section of my site to reflect the current availability of my book. Expect further updates in December, if I survive the insanity of November (holidays, prepping for finals, writing writing writing!).

Press News - Yes, I consider A Librarian's Life in Books to be the press. I have a nice interview over there where I talk about self-publishing, my Antioch experience, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, of course, Rupert the Magical Pony. Check it out! If you look closely, you'll find a link to my infamous film project, Come Out! Come Out! A Magical Musical Journey.


NaNo News - You guys, I was so super excited to start NaNoWriMo until I sat down to do it and remembered what a soul-killer it is! Still, I managed to get through roughly 1500 words the first night (falling short of the daily goal, but it's something). I missed out on writing Tuesday because I had too much homework that I had foolishly put off until the last minute (plus also Rock Band 3 finally came, soooo...yeah). After my 12-hour school day on Wednesday, I managed a scant 260 words, and then on Thursday I pushed myself back up to roughly 1500 words long-hand, on the way home on BART. The more I write, the more I want to write, but finding time is always an issue.

Don't be emo, M.Rod!

Here is a NaNo Fact Sheet for my (untitled) future novel:

Basic Plot: Rain is a young queerling working at a furniture outlet store in rural Ohio, trying to make a go of it with former-stripper girlfriend Carmelle (aka Carmel Apple). She's plodding along in a haze of mediocrity until one day Michelle Rodriguez shows up to buy a couch, zombies start attacking anything alive, and, in the wake of M. Rod kicking zombie ass, relationships begin to fall apart.

Zombie Origins: A bored scientist created them. (It could happen!)

Where I'm at Now: About three thousand words in, Michelle Rodriguez has finally showed up at the furniture store.

That's more like it!

Highlights: From Day One - "Biff Tipping is a big man, like a bear who transmogrified into a person. He moves uncertainly in his new, plastic environment, navigating around desks and chairs like he wishes he'd just staid a frikkin' bear. " From Day Three - "Mostly I tune out and start thinking about things like Carmelle's boobs or a nice plate of seafood pasta, but I haven't had either of those things in a long time and it is getting hard to picture them. " From Day Four - " 'Want to know a trick I use to calm myself down during a tough sale?' Cherry asks. She leans in close to my ear and whispers, 'I simply picture all of the customers with a cock in their mouth.' I blink at her. 'A cock?' She nods and smiles, 'In their mouth.'"


Check back next week for more updates.

Goodreads News - So far, something like 567 people are hella eager to win some free shit, and there's still time for you to get in on this action! Click here to enter for a chance to win 1 of 5 free copies of my book! (Contest ends November 12th.) Also, there appear to be, like, 45 people who have tagged my book on their "to-read" shelves. I am not entirely certain what this means, but hopefully it means 45 people will someday read me book!





Thanks to everyone for your continued interest in my work or my rantings!

Is it Taboo to Review Your Own Book?

Sleep Like This is alive and ready to be read! Click here to purchase from Amazon.

Here is my review:

"I think it is fair to say that this book is better than the Bible. It is less preachy but has approximately the same amount of plagues, and what it lacks in disciples it more than makes up for in girl-on-girl make-outs. It's shorter than the Bible so you can read it in a few hours and still make it to church before the first group prayer. Once there, you can tell the congregation how much time they are wasting on that ridiculously verbose tome of theirs, when there is a much thinner, superior version available on Amazon for only $12. Probably, you will not go to Hell for reading this book, but I can't make any guarantees because I would not like to be sued by your eternally suffering soul. I believe you will feel the Holy Spirit enter you about the same time Brena's tongue enters Regina's ear. By the time the crime is solved, you will be convulsing with joy and speaking in tongues, and only a few of you will experience the stigmata.

You know that part in the Bible when Jesus disappears for, like, twelve years? He was off in the corner of some quiet library reading Sleep Like This.

Disclaimer: Sleep Like This has nothing (or very little) to do with the Bible or any religion, but it does have sex and death, so it's still pretty rock n' roll."


There is also a legitimate review posted on Amazon and Goodreads by my fabulous friend Amy Campbell of A Librarian's Life in Books.

AND I am giving away 5 copies of the book through Goodreads in exchange for a review (please). What a deal! The giveaway ends November 12th.

 
 

    Goodreads Book Giveaway
 

 
   
   

     
       
     
   

   
   

     

       
          Sleep Like This
       
     

     

       
          by Dayna Ingram
       
     

     
     

       
         
            Giveaway ends November 12, 2010.
         

         
            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.
         

       
     

   

   

   
   
      Enter to win
   
   
 

I'm also gearing up for NaNoWriMo, so expect some posts about that in October. Thanks for reading!

Website!

I have a website now, but it is under construction.

SITE of the WEB

It's Week Nine of my third semester in this here MFA program, and I am super busy. Next month, I have decided to be stupid and participate in National Novel Writing Month, for which I will write 50,000 words of a zombie novel featuring Michelle Rodriguez kicking zombie tail. If I have the energy, perhaps I will chronicle my failure on this here blog.

Anyway, the website. Check it out. 

Can I Take a Nap in Your Dorm Room?

"Revolutionizing the way people get hit by cars."

So I have this four hour break between classes on Wednesday, and this passed one (yesterday), I forgot to bring a book and I didn't have any homework to do! I ate some lunch at the mall and walked around and bought a video game. I went into a Border's and found a new book by Larry Doyle but it cost $24 dollars, and no matter how much I loved his first book, I can't take a chance for $24 dollars.

Oh look, a segue!

When I publish it, my book will only cost $13. Thirteen dollars. That is about the same amount most people spend on a single lunchtime meal. My book is like lunch for your eyeballs and brains! (Low calories, no carbs, mmmm!). Also, it will be available as an eBook, but I don't know how much that will cost.

Anyway, here is the jacket cover blurb:

Regina Scott, a freshman at a small town college, has many problems, all of which begin (and end) with the dead girl lying in the bed ten feet away. To deal, Regina's psyche breaks into two people - the first being zombie-led through the fire-rings of local police trying to squeeze out a confession; the second traveling back through her memories to trace the incidents that have landed her with blood on her hands and cuffs on her wrists.

Meanwhile, forensic pathologist Julia Breigan is called to assist Sheriff Davies in proving Regina's guilt. Breigan would be delighted to help out, except Davies happens to be her stepsister and the catalyst for her hasty departure thirteen years ago.

Having abandoned hope for finding resolution in her own life, all Julia Breigan wants is to help Regina find the truth in hers. All Sheriff Davies wants is an open-shut case. And Regina Scott, well, she just wants to wake up.


This blurb fails to mention that this story also includes lesbians. Not in a sensational way, although my professor in college did mention (more than once) that the sex scene made her wish she was a lesbian. I'm just saying.

Not a Segway

I'd also like to assure potential readers that I have personally edited out all spelling and grammatical errors. Well, okay, I can't promise that, but I did read this bitch like a twenty times, so if something's wrong, it's your fault. Also, the bulk of the manuscript was professionally edited over the course of my final year at Antioch, so again if there is something wrong, it's my professor's fault. Just kidding! Can't you people take a joke?

Anyway, my final proof is on order and will be here (probably) September 22nd. If everything's good, it'll be available in the first or second week of October. Then I will launch my grassroots marketing campaign which involves free copies (hard or electronic) in exchange for reviews on Amazon! More on that later.

Meanwhile, I must find a quiet place on campus to curl up and nap on Wednesdays. Time to hit The Craig List.